Speedos Make No Sense at All

Some three years ago I had a blog that I called "Makes No Sense At All", named after the Hüsker Dü song. The point of it was to give me an occasional soap-box from which to give into Andy Rooney tendencies and just grumble and complain about whatever took my fancy. I didn't carry on with it too long, and it was read by, like, a maximum of five people who were not GoogleBots. So since it's just sat there moribund, collecting digital dust down the years. I decided I might as well close down the old blog and syndicate its contents here, in weekly installations. I've eliminated a few blog entries that seem too anachronistic by now, but the blogs that I have included I've not edited at all. So enjoy watching me at my grumpiest... Makes No Sense at All.

Originally published 31 July 2008.

Okay, not a long one this time out; just a quickie. Perfect for the summer, right? Ah, summer... sand, surf, sun and... Speedos.

Speedos are the bottom half of a bikini filled out a little more and stuck on a man. No doubt you're familiar with them. No doubt you're also well aware that they are evil incarnate. The thing is that not only are they themselves hideous: even the most attractive man in the world will still look like a dolt wearing them. No, it's not just that. It's that invariably the man wearing them is not the most attractive man in the world. Far, far from it. Speedos and obesity seem to go hand in hand.

I don't get this. Among the non-Speedos wearing public, condemnation is nearly universal. And for good reason. They are butt-ugly, pun certainly intended. Yet those who wear them valiantly continue to do so, seemingly unaware of how horrified their fellow beach-goers are.

Freedom is a good thing and all, but for once and for all, can't any government step in to save us from this evil?