Daily Fortune Cookie: 31 May 2011

"Use your sense of right and wrong this week to manipulate someone into evildoing on your behalf."

Daily Fortune Cookie: 30 May 2011

"Sing a song of sixpence, plus VAT."

Daily Fortune Cookie: 27 May 2011

"Buy new shoes. Try not to make your old shoes jealous."

Daily Fortune Cookie: 26 May 2011

"The hospital is no place to show hospitality; try your living room instead."

Daily Fortune Cookie: 25 May 2011

"You will find a recipe for disaster while looking for a recipe for angel's food cake."

Daily Fortune Cookie: 24 May 2011

"Get a tattoo of Ross Perot on your elbow."

Daily Fortune Cookie: 23 May 2011

"You will build an 828m tower, bringing your small country to the brink of bankruptcy in the process."

Daily Fortune Cookie: 20 May 2011

"Don't be afraid to ask for advice, or to ask for a cup of sugar."

Daily Fortune Cookie: 19 May 2011

"This is a good time for love, in particular for love of dairy products."

Daily Fortune Cookie: 18 May 2011

"Kids these days don't say 'bad' to mean 'good', so that comment was a genuine criticism of your chicken cacciatore."

Daily Fortune Cookie: 17 May 2011

"Change your name to an unpronounceable symbol."

Daily Fortune Cookie: 16 May 2011

 

"Learn Chinese, or at least learn Chinese checkers."

Daily Fortune Cookie: 13 May 2011

"You will finally remember what happened that night you woke up in a farmer's field in Spokane with a girl named Daisy."

Daily Fortune Cookie: 12 May 2011

"Now is the time to test whether or not eating apple seeds will really make an apple tree grow in your stomach."

Daily Fortune Cookie: 11 May 2011

"This is a good week to eat, drink and be merry, although not the kind that has a little lamb."

 

Daily Fortune Cookie: 10 May 2011

"Don't be fooled by a girl offering to hold a football for you to practise kicking, especially if that same girl otherwise offers psychiatric advice."

 

Daily Fortune Cookie: 9 May 2011

"Watching 'The Wizard of Oz', you will be scandalised to discover that, despite the kids' rhyme, the ladies do in fact wear bras."

Daily Fortune Cookie: 6 May 2011

"Children should be seen and not smelt."

Daily Fortune Cookie: 5 May 2011

"Live in the 1950s. Wear pearls at the dinner table."

 

Daily Fortune Cookie: 4 May 2011

"Glow worms are rarely found inside glow apples."