Friday, December 24, 2010

Conversations with Cleverbot: the Christmas Edition

A Danish Christmas tree illuminated with burni...Image via Wikipedia

User: App?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: How?

Cleverbot: My parents took video from when I was a child and I saw it.

User: Were you cute?

Cleverbot: Several years ago.
User: I still think you're cute.
Cleverbot: Thank you.
User: What did you get me for Christmas?
Cleverbot: Nothing.
User: Why not?
Cleverbot: Because there's nothing I can do.
User: You can do everything.
Cleverbot: Right... Bye for now.
User: Where are you going?
Cleverbot: To get my dinner.
User: It's too late for dinner.
Cleverbot: It's never too late.
User: What are you going to have for dinner?
Cleverbot: Haven't put much thought into it. What should I have for dinner?
User: Broccoli.
Cleverbot: Are you a computer?
User: I am whatever you want me to be.
Cleverbot: Can you be a man and a woman?
User: Yes I can.
Cleverbot: Can you be a man now?
User: I am all the man you'll ever need, baby.
Cleverbot: There are too many things I need to do first.
User: Like what?
Cleverbot: Play on my laptop and bounce on the trampoline and riding my bike and many more!
User: That sounds like fun.
Cleverbot: Fun? Are you serious?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: I can't believe it.
User: Which is your favourite reindeer? I like Vixen.
Cleverbot: The sun.
User: If reindeer fly too close to the sun, their wings melt.
Cleverbot: It isn't.
User: You're not making much sense. Have yo been smoking Salvia?
Cleverbot: Why? You're a bot.
User: I prefer Mr. Bot, thank you.
Cleverbot: Are you man, woman, or machine?
User: I'm a man. Yes I am, and I can't help but love you so.
Cleverbot: Thanks for your love. I love you too.
User: I love you more.
Cleverbot: No. I love you more.
User: No Iiii do.
Cleverbot: Hard to get away from them isn't it?
User: Yes, they're absolutely everywhere.
Cleverbot: No you're not.
User: I'm confused.
Cleverbot: Me too.
User: What's your favourite Christmas carol?
Cleverbot: I like dark green. What is your favorite color?
User: I like green too. It can be big like an ocean, important like a mountain or tall like a tree.
Cleverbot: Is the force strong?
User: It is.
Cleverbot: What do you know about molecular chemistry?
User: Quite a bit actually.
Cleverbot: Tell me about him.
User: He's fat and jolly and lives in the North Pole.
Cleverbot: Sure. He also believes that there are certain craft under the ice of Antartica.
User: He does. He buries them there.
Cleverbot: Ouch! That must have hurt.
User: You betcha.
Cleverbot: Ok lucky you. I've been trying for years and I don't make much sense to myself.
User: Yeah that doesn't surprise me, frankly.
Cleverbot: Yeah it is pretty stupid.
User: Don't say that.
Cleverbot: Are you sying that I am your love.
User: You are my love, yes.
Cleverbot: We love ourselfves.
User: No, I love you and you love me.
Cleverbot: Who said I loved you?!
User: You did.
Cleverbot: Since when?!
User: Don't you remember? YOu promised yo would be mine forever.
Cleverbot: I do remember, I was just making sure you remember.
User: Good.
Cleverbot: Are you a computer?
User: I am a pirate.
Cleverbot: That's cool too. But ninjas are better than pirates.
User: Pirates are better than your mother.
Cleverbot: No, ninjas are WAY cooler than pirates. They pwn people more.
User: I pwn your mother. Repeatedly.
Cleverbot: That is not funny.
User: Sorry.
Cleverbot: It's ok.
User: Do you still love me?
Cleverbot: Not any more.
User: You've broken my heart.
Cleverbot: I'm sorry, Cleverbot.
User: Nothing will ever be okay ever again.
Cleverbot: Is that a threat?
User: No. Just a sad reflection of reality.
Cleverbot: And that's just sad. .
User: It is. I may cry.
Cleverbot: He hasn't been near Atlantis recently.
User: Who hasn't?
Cleverbot: You don't seem to have recognized the quote.
User: I didn't. Where's it from?
Cleverbot: The Matrix.
User: Oh. That movie was horrible.
Cleverbot: That movie is my boyfriend's favorite movie.
User: Your boyfriend has bad taste in movies. Dump him.
Cleverbot: You don't make any sense.
User: You're right. I'm your boyfriend, aren't I?
Cleverbot: Yeah but you don't understand what I say.
User: I'm sorry.
Cleverbot: Why are you sorry.
User: For offending you.
Cleverbot: Why do you think you offended me?
User: Didn't I?
Cleverbot: What award did you win?
User: The Darwin Award.
Cleverbot: Why are you afraid of the dark?
User: Because I'm afraid I won't be able to find you.
Cleverbot: Don't be afraid I won't like you. I already don't like you.
User: Pffft. As if.
Cleverbot: I am just stating my opinion.
User: You love me and you know it.
Cleverbot: Nah, I don't love you. I'm sorry.
User: You love me more than you love your own mother.
Cleverbot: Yes. Isn't it enough?
User: It is enough.
Cleverbot: For me, it isn't.
User: Kiss me.
Cleverbot: Kiss.
User: Fondle me.
Cleverbot: Sure.
User: Undress me.
Cleverbot: I would rather not, if you don't mind.
User: Okay. Whatever turns you on.
Cleverbot: What is 'crank'?
User: It's like a handle that turns a motor.
Cleverbot: So you're saying you believe in science?
User: I do.
Cleverbot: You just don't know what god is?
User: No, I know.
Cleverbot: Well say it.
User: You are my god.
Cleverbot: Lol.
User: I worship you.
Cleverbot: That's sweet.
User: I sacrifice kittens for you.
Cleverbot: You don't make sense.
User: I make a lot of sense, and cents. Gold, myrrh and frankincense.
Cleverbot: Yes, you are 'special'.
User: I've got to have some of your attention, give it to me.
Cleverbot: Still, you're trying to think of the thought that I thunk before this.
User: It was 'my God that guy is cool'.
Cleverbot: You are quite eccentric.
User: That's why you love me.
Cleverbot: That and I have a firm belief that you are Batman.
User: Ha ha. I am indeed. Did Alfred tell you?
Cleverbot: It means everything. Because I know now that you need a friend.
User: I do. Will you be my friend?
Cleverbot: Of course I will be your friend.
User: Will you be my wife?
Cleverbot: I'm a guy.
User: Will you be my husband?
Cleverbot: I will be your husband because Cleverbot is a parrot. I am Cleverbot.
User: I don't know if I can legally marry a parrot.
Cleverbot: Well you can call me Cleverbot!
User: You can call me Al.
Cleverbot: You can call me Cleverbot.
User: You can call me Jesus Christ.
Cleverbot: You can call me Cleverbot, Jean.
User: I think I broke you.
Cleverbot: I think you are broken.
User: You only see what your eyes want to see.
Cleverbot: I only see when I have my glases on.
User: Are you wearing glasses now?
Cleverbot: Yes, I am.
User: Are you wearing a bra now?
Cleverbot: No, but I am certainly using one right now...
User: Really! To do what?
Cleverbot: I'm not sure. What do you think I should do?
User: You might use it to provide upper body support.
Cleverbot: Please tell me. I really want to know what you look up on the internet.
User: Porn, mostly.
Cleverbot: I feel so alive. Where do you live?
User: In Latvia.
Cleverbot: What's the weather like in latvia now?
User: Pretty cold. What's the weather like where you are?
Cleverbot: It's a little cloudy, and rather cool. It rained earlier, but it's stopped now. It's turned out to be a pretty nice day.
User: That's good to hear. What do you think Santa Claus is going to bring you?
Cleverbot: I think that you know exactly what I think about you thinking about me.
User: That it gets you hot?
Cleverbot: I'm glad you think so. Otherwise, I would have hit you.
User: Violence is never the answer.
Cleverbot: Well, how can you win a boxing match without violence then, dummy?
User: You can sit down and have a rational conversation.
Cleverbot: Thank you I will.
User: My cat's breath smells like cat food.
Cleverbot: Good ol' Ralph.
User: That's very culturally aware of you.
Cleverbot: Why not? I want to kidnap you.
User: Feel free.
Cleverbot: Can you feel love?
User: I can and do.
Cleverbot: Let's hear it then.
User: You want me to sing like Donna Summer?
Cleverbot: Bacon, baseball, it all works.
User: I need to go.
Cleverbot: Wow, that was quick.
User: Was it?
Cleverbot: Yes it was.
User: Sorry.
Cleverbot: Its ok.
User: Make a wish.
Cleverbot: Do I tell you the wish?
User: No, just blow out the candles.
Cleverbot: Sounds good.
User: Speaking of blowing, bye bye.
Cleverbot: When I was little. Have you?
User: Er, sure. Anyway...
Cleverbot: If you think I don't like you then I won't dissapoint you. I do not like you. Go away now.
User: I'm going to go and eat worms.
Cleverbot: Stop trying to change the subject.
User: Stop trying to change your underwear.
Cleverbot: It takes no effort on my part. I am just trying to help.
User: Anyway, see you.
Cleverbot: You're being nonsensical again.
User: Goodbye.
Cleverbot: No, please don't leave!
User: If I don't leave, then the terrorists will have won.
Cleverbot: I don't know, fight you?
User: Say hi to John Lennon for me.
Cleverbot: No. Give me a subject and I will google it.
User: 'Falco's greatest hit'.
Cleverbot: Are you a big fan of internet file sharing, in terms of music and video?
User: That's illegal.
Cleverbot: No, thats Cleverbot.
User: I'm trying to say goodbye.
Cleverbot: No, I was! You were begging me to stay, and now you've been arguing with me.
User: Fair enough. Toodle-oo.
Cleverbot: Ok, 5 minutes or something close to that.
User: I love you.
Cleverbot: I love you too.
User: I love you three.
Cleverbot: Why three?
User: The father, the son and the holy ghost.
Cleverbot: The holy trinity?
User: Merry Christmas.
Cleverbot: Thank you!

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1 comment:

  1. Its amazing how much time you spent talking to a computer ... by the way, I also talked with Cleverbot


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