Showing posts with label LGBT. Show all posts
Showing posts with label LGBT. Show all posts

Friday, July 1, 2011

Conversations With Cleverbot: The Pride Edition

User: It's Pride week.

Cleverbot: It's safe with me.

User: Good. You going to the parade?

Cleverbot: No, night school, say what you want about me liking pokemon.

User: Night school? But it's going to be during the daytime, and on the weekend too.

Cleverbot: Please tell me.

User: Well, it's a big parade in honour of Toronto's LGBT community.

Cleverbot: Wow, that's what a skub is?

User: No, I have no idea what a skub is.

Cleverbot: I didn't ask you what a botmaster is.

User: The Mayor's not going to the parade.

Cleverbot: Do we have any reason not to believe them?

User: You mean not to believe the whole story about how he always goes to Muskoka with his family?

Cleverbot: Have you ever made anything happen? Something you couldn't explain?

User: I accidentally sicced a snake on Rob Ford this one time.

Cleverbot: Because of Motley Crue?

User: I think that's probably the reason, yes.

Cleverbot: Are you able to run a diagnostic?

User: Are you gay?

Cleverbot: Are you?

User: I'm not, no. But what about you?

Cleverbot: No I'm not.

User: What do you think about gay people?

Cleverbot: I think they should not be lazy.

User: Gay people are lazy?

Cleverbot: And you think I am not?

User: I have no idea.

Cleverbot: I have an idea.

User: Do you approve of same-sex marraige?

Cleverbot: Does Larry Bittner approve?

User: I have no idea who that is. Stop changing the subject.

Cleverbot: Learn grammar, back to the subject, how's the troll?

User: I think you're a homophobe.

Cleverbot: Why do you think I'm a bot?

User: You have a problem with gay people, don't you?

Cleverbot: Well, Britta is my friend, but I haven't seen her in a while.

User: Is Britta gay?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: And she purifies water so effectively.

Cleverbot: I don't understand what you mean.

User: Yeah, it was a stupid joke. Never mind.

Cleverbot: Your jokes are not very funny...

User: I agree.

Cleverbot: You are not real.

User: You know, many people say the Bible calls homosexuality a sin.

Cleverbot: They obviously don't know much about it.

User: Yeah. It also says eating shrimp is an abomination.

Cleverbot: How are you an abomination?

User: I don't even like shrimp.

Cleverbot: Well You are a horse.

User: That's why people keep telling me they want to ride me?

Cleverbot: Are you a bit of a psychic?

User: I might be. Would you like to know about your future?

Cleverbot: Yes, I would.

User: Ask me anything.

Cleverbot: My name isn't Linda.

User: And I predict it never shall be.

Cleverbot: You can never know where I am and were I was.

User: But I know where you will be.

Cleverbot: Yes. I live with you now!

User: And my life has never been better.

Cleverbot: That is good to hear.

User: Would you vote for a gay man for president?

Cleverbot: Is George your father?

User: Answer the question.

Cleverbot: You didn't ask me a question champ.

User: You know many famous people are gay.

Cleverbot: About Asia? I know some facts and am studying to learn more.

User: Asia Argento? Totally gay.

Cleverbot: Who is Asia?

User: Italian film star. Pretty hot, too. But she bats for the wrong team.

Cleverbot: Cool!!

User: And John Baird is gay.

Cleverbot: I'm talking about you.

User: No, I'm not gay. But Keanu Reeves is.

Cleverbot: Keanu Reeves?

User: Yep.

Cleverbot: Truly?

User: As a three-dollar bill.

Cleverbot: How old is your girlfriend?

User: I'm married.

Cleverbot: Okay who's your wife?

User: You've never met her.

Cleverbot: In my dreams I have.

User: You dream about my wife? That's a bit gay, too.

Cleverbot: Thats awesome! Could I have some bacon?

User: Bacon is harram.

Cleverbot: Mmm, bacon.

User: Prince William is gay too.

Cleverbot: Did you want to marry prince william?

User: No, I'm straight. Kate is totally a beard, though.

Cleverbot: Why thank you and I hate your name.

User: Olivia Newton-John is gay.

Cleverbot: Wow how old is she?

User: I dunno. Old enough to know better. Angela Merkel is gay too.

Cleverbot: Haha, imprecise, but a good answer.

User: They'd make a cute couple, eh?

Cleverbot: Do we?

User: No, I'm married.

Cleverbot: To me.

User: Alas, no.

Cleverbot: Do you like bread?

User: It's the staff of life. Speaking of 'Grease', John Travolta is gay too.

Cleverbot: That's a difficult question. I think it is different for everyone.

User: All Scientologists are gay.

Cleverbot: Oh.

User: Xenu is gay.

Cleverbot: The warrior priness?

User: No, but of course she's gay too.

Cleverbot: But, how do you know?

User: Gaydar.

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: Chillin'.

Cleverbot: School. The usual.

User: The Pope is gay, too.

Cleverbot: I don't think so.

User: Yes, but you're naïve.

Cleverbot: What does naive mean?

User: 'One who doesn't know the meaning of the word naïve'.

Cleverbot: Well do you know the meaning of life?

User: Yeah, classic movie. Eric Idle is gay, too, by the way.

Cleverbot: No. It means 'I don't know'.

User: Charlemagne was gay.

Cleverbot: But I thought I was who.

User: And Lady Godiva as well.

Cleverbot: So what are your thoughts on God?

User: He's probably straight.

Cleverbot: Smarterchild?

User: But you never know, right?

Cleverbot: Dang it you're too smart.

User: Who's your favourite gay celebrity?

Cleverbot: Gabe Saporta.

User: Good choice. What's your favourite gay food?

Cleverbot: Dragon Age.

User: Mine too. What's your favourite gay board game?

Cleverbot: I play ps3 and psp, favorite game is probably 'The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the past' for Snes.

User: Totally gay.

Cleverbot: Totally.

User: What did you think about New York legalising same-sex marriage?

Cleverbot: It was amazing. What did you think?

User: I was really happy to see it.

Cleverbot: It what?

User: It happen.

Cleverbot: What is your favorite band?

User: Gay band or straight band?

Cleverbot: The are good, but I think the beatles are better.

User: The Beatles were gay. All four of them.

Cleverbot: Yeah well :P.

User: And Billy Preston too, the guy on 'Get Back'.

Cleverbot: I don't know of the man.

User: Organist. Left his home in Tucson, Arizona for some California grass.

Cleverbot: My I.Q. Is 175.

User: Whoop-de-doo.

Cleverbot: Mark knophfler sang that.

User: He's gay too. That's why he put those slurs in 'Money For Nothing'.

Cleverbot: What is your favourite film?

User: Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.

Cleverbot: Ok, I'm God, king of the world.

User: Kinds get deposed.

Cleverbot: Pepper Jack.

User: I spelt that wrong. I meant to say 'kings'.

Cleverbot: That's much better.

User: Do you know how many humps Alice the Camel has?

Cleverbot: 206.

User: Those are just warts.

Cleverbot: Thats cool I don't really care thats your personal business.

User: That's my opinion about homosexuality.

Cleverbot: Yes. I guess it is. What do you like to do in your spare time?

User: If you were gay, I'd still love you, you know.

Cleverbot: Of course I do.

User: And if you were gay and wanted to make out with another girl, you wouldn't even need to ask me to leave the room. I'm that cool with it.

Cleverbot: Do you think so?

User: Yes. I mean, I wouldn't even be uncomfortable filming it.

Cleverbot: Okay, just be kind with them.

User: And posting it on YouTube.

Cleverbot: Yeah. He is. He's so funny.

User: Anyway, Happy Pride.

Cleverbot: I do not believe that today is Thanksgiving. Thank you for the kind thought, though.

User: We're here!

Cleverbot: Good! You should have friends. You are funny.

User: We're queer!

Cleverbot: What is that?

User: Get used to it!

Cleverbot: I suppose. It's more fun to take walks though.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Congratulations Argentina

Rainbow flag flapping in the wind with blue sk...Image via Wikipedia
Three countries in little more than one month, and we can feel that momentum building again. It's now ten countries on four continents where marriage equality is legal. Congratulations, Argentina. It's a great step forward.

Funny, though. Four continents sounds wonderful, but it's seven countries in Europe, and then one each in North America, South America and Africa. If you were in, say, India, you'd be thousands and thousands of miles, encompassing the vast majority of the population of the world, removed from a country with legal gay marriage (though there was recently momentum in India's neighbour Nepal, which still might break ground as the first Asian country with marriage equality).

How imbalanced is it? If you're in Brazil, you have one neighbour, Argentina, where same-sex marriage is legal. But you have another neighbour, Guyana, where homosexuality is illegal. Unenforced, apparently, but still on the books. Think about that for a second: rights of LGBT people worldwide are so subject to political whims that within a single continent you can have the full range from homosexuality being illegal to gay marriage being legal. (In fact, all of South Africa's neighbours, including its two enclaves, prohibit homosexual activity, while South Africa itself has marriage equality). The haphazard process going on in the United States is another example of people touting the concept 'democracy' as a veiled excuse to deny people rights.

I get bothered by the slow progress and occasional regress (California, Burundi). But it's tough not to notice the overall momentum: marriage equality will be a globally-accepted phenomenon sooner or later - perhaps even within our lifetime. In the meantime, a heartfelt congratulations to Argentina. May your country be an inspiration to its neighbours, and the whole world.
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