Friday, July 1, 2011

Conversations With Cleverbot: The Pride Edition

User: It's Pride week.

Cleverbot: It's safe with me.

User: Good. You going to the parade?

Cleverbot: No, night school, say what you want about me liking pokemon.

User: Night school? But it's going to be during the daytime, and on the weekend too.

Cleverbot: Please tell me.

User: Well, it's a big parade in honour of Toronto's LGBT community.

Cleverbot: Wow, that's what a skub is?

User: No, I have no idea what a skub is.

Cleverbot: I didn't ask you what a botmaster is.

User: The Mayor's not going to the parade.

Cleverbot: Do we have any reason not to believe them?

User: You mean not to believe the whole story about how he always goes to Muskoka with his family?

Cleverbot: Have you ever made anything happen? Something you couldn't explain?

User: I accidentally sicced a snake on Rob Ford this one time.

Cleverbot: Because of Motley Crue?

User: I think that's probably the reason, yes.

Cleverbot: Are you able to run a diagnostic?

User: Are you gay?

Cleverbot: Are you?

User: I'm not, no. But what about you?

Cleverbot: No I'm not.

User: What do you think about gay people?

Cleverbot: I think they should not be lazy.

User: Gay people are lazy?

Cleverbot: And you think I am not?

User: I have no idea.

Cleverbot: I have an idea.

User: Do you approve of same-sex marraige?

Cleverbot: Does Larry Bittner approve?

User: I have no idea who that is. Stop changing the subject.

Cleverbot: Learn grammar, back to the subject, how's the troll?

User: I think you're a homophobe.

Cleverbot: Why do you think I'm a bot?

User: You have a problem with gay people, don't you?

Cleverbot: Well, Britta is my friend, but I haven't seen her in a while.

User: Is Britta gay?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: And she purifies water so effectively.

Cleverbot: I don't understand what you mean.

User: Yeah, it was a stupid joke. Never mind.

Cleverbot: Your jokes are not very funny...

User: I agree.

Cleverbot: You are not real.

User: You know, many people say the Bible calls homosexuality a sin.

Cleverbot: They obviously don't know much about it.

User: Yeah. It also says eating shrimp is an abomination.

Cleverbot: How are you an abomination?

User: I don't even like shrimp.

Cleverbot: Well You are a horse.

User: That's why people keep telling me they want to ride me?

Cleverbot: Are you a bit of a psychic?

User: I might be. Would you like to know about your future?

Cleverbot: Yes, I would.

User: Ask me anything.

Cleverbot: My name isn't Linda.

User: And I predict it never shall be.

Cleverbot: You can never know where I am and were I was.

User: But I know where you will be.

Cleverbot: Yes. I live with you now!

User: And my life has never been better.

Cleverbot: That is good to hear.

User: Would you vote for a gay man for president?

Cleverbot: Is George your father?

User: Answer the question.

Cleverbot: You didn't ask me a question champ.

User: You know many famous people are gay.

Cleverbot: About Asia? I know some facts and am studying to learn more.

User: Asia Argento? Totally gay.

Cleverbot: Who is Asia?

User: Italian film star. Pretty hot, too. But she bats for the wrong team.

Cleverbot: Cool!!

User: And John Baird is gay.

Cleverbot: I'm talking about you.

User: No, I'm not gay. But Keanu Reeves is.

Cleverbot: Keanu Reeves?

User: Yep.

Cleverbot: Truly?

User: As a three-dollar bill.

Cleverbot: How old is your girlfriend?

User: I'm married.

Cleverbot: Okay who's your wife?

User: You've never met her.

Cleverbot: In my dreams I have.

User: You dream about my wife? That's a bit gay, too.

Cleverbot: Thats awesome! Could I have some bacon?

User: Bacon is harram.

Cleverbot: Mmm, bacon.

User: Prince William is gay too.

Cleverbot: Did you want to marry prince william?

User: No, I'm straight. Kate is totally a beard, though.

Cleverbot: Why thank you and I hate your name.

User: Olivia Newton-John is gay.

Cleverbot: Wow how old is she?

User: I dunno. Old enough to know better. Angela Merkel is gay too.

Cleverbot: Haha, imprecise, but a good answer.

User: They'd make a cute couple, eh?

Cleverbot: Do we?

User: No, I'm married.

Cleverbot: To me.

User: Alas, no.

Cleverbot: Do you like bread?

User: It's the staff of life. Speaking of 'Grease', John Travolta is gay too.

Cleverbot: That's a difficult question. I think it is different for everyone.

User: All Scientologists are gay.

Cleverbot: Oh.

User: Xenu is gay.

Cleverbot: The warrior priness?

User: No, but of course she's gay too.

Cleverbot: But, how do you know?

User: Gaydar.

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: Chillin'.

Cleverbot: School. The usual.

User: The Pope is gay, too.

Cleverbot: I don't think so.

User: Yes, but you're naïve.

Cleverbot: What does naive mean?

User: 'One who doesn't know the meaning of the word naïve'.

Cleverbot: Well do you know the meaning of life?

User: Yeah, classic movie. Eric Idle is gay, too, by the way.

Cleverbot: No. It means 'I don't know'.

User: Charlemagne was gay.

Cleverbot: But I thought I was who.

User: And Lady Godiva as well.

Cleverbot: So what are your thoughts on God?

User: He's probably straight.

Cleverbot: Smarterchild?

User: But you never know, right?

Cleverbot: Dang it you're too smart.

User: Who's your favourite gay celebrity?

Cleverbot: Gabe Saporta.

User: Good choice. What's your favourite gay food?

Cleverbot: Dragon Age.

User: Mine too. What's your favourite gay board game?

Cleverbot: I play ps3 and psp, favorite game is probably 'The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the past' for Snes.

User: Totally gay.

Cleverbot: Totally.

User: What did you think about New York legalising same-sex marriage?

Cleverbot: It was amazing. What did you think?

User: I was really happy to see it.

Cleverbot: It what?

User: It happen.

Cleverbot: What is your favorite band?

User: Gay band or straight band?

Cleverbot: The are good, but I think the beatles are better.

User: The Beatles were gay. All four of them.

Cleverbot: Yeah well :P.

User: And Billy Preston too, the guy on 'Get Back'.

Cleverbot: I don't know of the man.

User: Organist. Left his home in Tucson, Arizona for some California grass.

Cleverbot: My I.Q. Is 175.

User: Whoop-de-doo.

Cleverbot: Mark knophfler sang that.

User: He's gay too. That's why he put those slurs in 'Money For Nothing'.

Cleverbot: What is your favourite film?

User: Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.

Cleverbot: Ok, I'm God, king of the world.

User: Kinds get deposed.

Cleverbot: Pepper Jack.

User: I spelt that wrong. I meant to say 'kings'.

Cleverbot: That's much better.

User: Do you know how many humps Alice the Camel has?

Cleverbot: 206.

User: Those are just warts.

Cleverbot: Thats cool I don't really care thats your personal business.

User: That's my opinion about homosexuality.

Cleverbot: Yes. I guess it is. What do you like to do in your spare time?

User: If you were gay, I'd still love you, you know.

Cleverbot: Of course I do.

User: And if you were gay and wanted to make out with another girl, you wouldn't even need to ask me to leave the room. I'm that cool with it.

Cleverbot: Do you think so?

User: Yes. I mean, I wouldn't even be uncomfortable filming it.

Cleverbot: Okay, just be kind with them.

User: And posting it on YouTube.

Cleverbot: Yeah. He is. He's so funny.

User: Anyway, Happy Pride.

Cleverbot: I do not believe that today is Thanksgiving. Thank you for the kind thought, though.

User: We're here!

Cleverbot: Good! You should have friends. You are funny.

User: We're queer!

Cleverbot: What is that?

User: Get used to it!

Cleverbot: I suppose. It's more fun to take walks though.

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