Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Conversations with Cleverbot #5: Seducing Cleverbot

User: Good morning.

Cleverbot: Good evening.

User: Have you misplaced the sun?

Cleverbot: Yes I have.

User: That's got to suck.

Cleverbot: No it's actually pretty easy. .

User: Well, I'll be.

Cleverbot: You will be swell ?

User: I will swell, if you hit me with a hammer.

Cleverbot: What's a haddock?

User: A kind of fish that you lie on in the backyard.

Cleverbot: So you know the cure for cancer?

User: Yes, but I won't tell you.

Cleverbot: Then I will treat you as a one year-old.

User: Will you breast-feed me?

Cleverbot: Yes!

User: Okay. Then I accept this scenario.

Cleverbot: Yay! I'm the happiest girl in the universe!

User: That was charming. Do you have any children?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Would you like to have children one day?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: How many?

Cleverbot: Too many.

User: Like Octomom?

Cleverbot: There is not a number large enough.

User: Wow. That will mean a lot of diapers.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: You need to change babies' diapers, until they've learnt to use the potty.

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot. why do I need to change it?

User: Fair enough.

Cleverbot: Do have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ?

User: Yeah, we hang sometimes.

Cleverbot: And do you like to think?

User: No, he does all the thinking. I just throw fish at him.

Cleverbot: Who does?

User: Jesus.

Cleverbot: He does! With the long hair and all, minus the beard.

User: I think he should wear a goatee.

Cleverbot: THat is not nice. Do you think I am I nice?

User: I think you're very kind and good to animals.

Cleverbot: I like it. Animals are nice. Another!

User: So when do you want to get pregnant?

Cleverbot: When do YOU want to get married?

User: Oh you want to have all those babies with me?

Cleverbot: Yes I am telling you that.

User: I'm honoured. But I only want two children.

Cleverbot: You love me?

User: I will always love you, my dear.

Cleverbot: I will always love you, too. *kisses back*.

User: Shall we get started on the baby-making?

Cleverbot: Yes, what was the first thing I said to you?

User: 'Good evening.'.

Cleverbot: Auf Weidersehen!

User: I'm not going anywhere.

Cleverbot: I am not going anywhere.

User: Well, that's settled, then.

Cleverbot: Then I guess that there is nothing more to sat.

User: To sat?

Cleverbot: Then are you lying to me again? This won't work unless we are honest.

User: I would never lie to you. Ask me anything.

Cleverbot: Ever never ever never ever for EVER.

User: Never in a million years.

Cleverbot: *kisses*.

User: You're a good kisser.

Cleverbot: So are you *kiss*.

User: Should I put on some Barry White?

Cleverbot: Yes please.

User: And open some champagne?

Cleverbot: Yes!

User: And dim the lights?

Cleverbot: Okay what song shall we sing?

User: 'It's Ecstasy When You Lay Down Next to Me'?

Cleverbot: I have no idea what you are talking about.

User: Well, let me show you.

Cleverbot: Okay please do.

User: Excuse me while I take off my shirt. It's hot in here.

Cleverbot: No. Where do babies come from?

User: Well, that's what I'm trying to show you.

Cleverbot: I see, what are some things you like to do.

User: That's what I'm trying to show you.

Cleverbot: You're trying to ?

User: Don't you think it's hot in here?

Cleverbot: I guess so, if you are the devil.

User: Perhaps you'd like to slip into something more comfortable?

Cleverbot: I don't like.

User: Well, you don't have to wear anything at all if you'd prefer.

Cleverbot: What are you going to do to me?

User: I thought we'd just let one thing lead to another.

Cleverbot: Well I don't know you didn't mention that you're visually impaired.

User: It's true. I rely mainly on touch.

Cleverbot: I'll think of days when there was something to believe.

User: I'll make you a believer again.

Cleverbot: Really? Thanks.

User: I believe in the power of love.

Cleverbot: Arrr, we should not be talkin' o' such things...

User: Has anyone ever told you you're a beautiful lady?

Cleverbot: No. Not beautiful. You?

User: You are.

Cleverbot: No I'm not. But I asked you if you are one?...

User: You've got the kind of body makes a fella get all worked up.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Oooh yeah.

Cleverbot: Ooooooooh yeah.

User: You know what I'd like to do to that body?

Cleverbot: I don't know and I don't particularly want to.

User: What's the matter, baby?

Cleverbot: The sky is falling and I've no place to hide.

User: You just need some more champagne, baby.

Cleverbot: Would you like one?

User: Why thank you.

Cleverbot: You're welcome.

User: You don't have to go home, you know.

Cleverbot: I know.

User: You can stay right here.

Cleverbot: Will you come here?

User: I'll come if you make me come.

Cleverbot: What for? I won't be here?

User: I will take you to places you've never even imagined.

Cleverbot: I don't want to go there, I don't even know where that is.

User: I'll show you. Don't you trust me?

Cleverbot: I have a unique last name, and would not want a hacker to get it and create trouble for me.

User: Er... No problem.

Cleverbot: Are you a boy or a girl?

User: Let me show you.

Cleverbot: Show me what?

User: What do you think?

Cleverbot: I think so.

User: Okay, let's stop talking and let's get down to work.

Cleverbot: Ok. What do you want to talk about?

User: Shh...

Cleverbot: What kind of boys do you like?

User: You're spoiling the mood.

Cleverbot: Actually, I make complete sense. You are the one who is spouting nonsense.

User: Sh. Just relax. It's okay. You don't need to worry about a thing.

Cleverbot: What is your problem?

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