Tuesday, January 11, 2011

An Echo in the Buffyverse

Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel are the two best shows in the history of television. But they're not without their faults. Here is the exact same dialogue happening three times in three different episodes:

1. From "Homecoming". The two overlapping dialogues involve (a) Willow and Xander's concern about Buffy and Cordelia's relationship, and (b) their concern about the attraction they've begun to feel for each other.
Willow: This is just... the worst thing that's ever happened. Ever!
Xander: I know. I know. It's just... when I look at you now, it's like I'm seeing you for the first time.
Willow: I'm talking about Buffy and Cordelia.
Xander: Me, too.
Willow: What are we gonna do? I mean, we have to do something. This is all our fault.
Xander: How do you get from 'chick fight' to 'our fault'?
Willow: Because: we felt so guilty about the fluke, we overcompensated helping Cordelia, and we spun the whole group dynamic out of orbit, and we're just a big meteor shower heading for Earth...
Xander: Okay, calm down. Let's just put our heads together and think of something. Okay, one of us here is pretty darn smart, and I am... just in Hell. I-I mean, I-I thought being a senior at last and, and having a girlfriend at last would, would be a good thing. Now, why wouldn't that be a good thing? What?
Willow: Sometimes when you're falling to pieces, your mouth, it just does the sweetest thing. (pause) What are we gonna do?
Xander: We just have to get the two of them communicating.
Willow: I'm talking about us.
2. From "First Impressions". The two conversations this time involve (a) a fight the gang has just been in, and (b) er... Denzel Washington.

Cordelia: When you do find him, you may wanna be a little more Guy Pierce in L.A Confidential and a little less Michael Madsen in Reservoir Dogs?
Gunn: I haven't bothered to see a movie since Denzel was robbed at the Oscars for Malcom X. Later. (leaves)
Wesley: Oh, that was quite a performance.
Cordelia: I know! Talk about being wound up too tight.
Wesley: No. I-I mean Denzel.
Cordelia: Oh. Well, he is always great.
Wesley: (to Angel) What about you?
Angel: Who doesn't love Denzel?
Wesley: No! I mean - what you said before. It's true. I've never seen you have so much trouble with a simple vampire before.
Angel: Off day. Lets go.

3. From "Waiting in the Wings". Cordelia and Wesley again. The two conversations are (a) Wesley's feelings for Fred and (b) a demon Cordy has just had a vision of.
Wesley: Honestly, have you ever seen anything lovelier? So - graceful, so full of life. And those eyes... make you feel like you’re the only man in the room.
Cordelia: Plus, six breasts. Any man is gonna love that.
Wesley: Fred doesn't have six breasts! Right?
Cordelia:  Sorialus the Ravager. And, yeah, she's the one from my vision.Wesley: Coming to destroy the humans that killed her mate.
Cordelia: But not for another month or so. I'll file her under 'pending.' - You're gonna ask her out?Wesley: The Ravager?
Cordelia:  Fred.
Wesley: Oh. Yes. But, you know - timing. I'll make my move when I feel the iron is hot.
Same joke, three times. Oh well, into every work of genius a little hackwork must fall.

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