Sunday, January 9, 2011

Google Reads My Mind


So Google has an option where you can let it read your mind. It's easy, really. If your name happens to be, say, "Luis", you'd put "Luis thinks that" into quotations and see what it spits out. So let's see what I think, according to Google:
  • "Jerry thinks that he is better than the rest of them." - Nah, I'm a pretty humble guy.
  • "Jerry thinks that it is unlike Dan not to take Memphis with him as they are joined at the hip." - I don't know these people, but I'm willing to wager that if they actually are conjoined twins, it must indeed be atypical - as well as impractical - behaviour.
  • "Jerry thinks that myth and ritual necessarily imply beliefs about the natural world." - Wow. Deep thoughts. Er... okay. Sounds reasonable.
  • "Jerry thinks that the Bush tax cuts caused the trillion dollar deficits." - Sure. In part, anyway.
  • "Jerry thinks that Kiss have contributed a lot to the rock n' roll landscape and fulfilled a lot of fantasies over the years." - Er, yeah, Kiss were cool-ish. So rock 'n roll landscape, sure. Fantasies? I'd rather not think about that.
  • "Jerry thinks that he can cheat on hot, sexy Alecia Ames, the little sex kitten that turns into a wild animal when Jerry accidentally whispers Brandi's name while making love." - No, no. I assure you I'd be quite faithful to hot, sexy Alecia Ames.
  • "Jerry thinks that 2020 will be more like 1984 with that Flavor Flav bling." - Now see, I remember 1984, and I don't remember much in the way of Flavor Flav bling at that point in history.
  • "Jerry thinks that part of the problem might be that he grew the tree from seed." - Actually that seems like a perfectly reasonable approach to me.
  • "Jerry thinks that this office equipment will be used for 4 years and at the end of 4 years, he thinks he can sell them for $880." - I doubt I've ever been that methodical in calculation.
  • "Jerry thinks that the following layout of the components in the small boxes should be the way to go." - And there's a schematic. And, sure - it's a pretty good layout of the components in the small boxes. You know, as layouts of the components in small boxes go and all.
  • "Jerry thinks that when there's a rain delay, NASCAR should just show Three Stooges shorts." - Er, sure. Sounds good.
  • "Jerry thinks that this dead man was young and healthy." - Well, I think that's highly unlikely.
  • "Jerry thinks that people are making too big a deal of this necrophilia angle." - I certainly hope these two thoughts aren't connected to each other.
  • "Jerry thinks that Clare's navel is talking to him in the same way that the Kool-Aid guy is." - I assure you I don't. I've never been spoken to by a navel.
  • "Jerry thinks you're crass and perhaps a bit of an ass." - To be fair, I don't know you. So I should suspend judgement.
  • "Jerry thinks that everyone else is doomed to the same damnation that's exclusively reserved for unendurable shlumps like him." - No, I'm sure my damnation will be unique to me.
  • "Jerry thinks that everyone thinks like Jerry." - Well, this little exercise has shown that that's clearly not true.

Overall, not too successful really. It's probably still in the beta stage.

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