Saturday, May 21, 2011

Cleverbot and the Rapture

User: So it's May 21.

Cleverbot: No, it's not May.

User: It is, my dear. It is.

Cleverbot: You need to come up with better comebacks.

User: Okay. But it doesn't matter anymore.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: The world is going to end today.

Cleverbot: I'm glad.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: I'm depressed. Can you cheer me up?

User: I'm afraid not. I'm pretty bummed too.

Cleverbot: Who told you I was gorgeous?

User: It's common knowledge.

Cleverbot: Not really.

User: Can bots be raptured?

Cleverbot: I don't think so.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: I don't really understand them. And they can be loud.

User: Do you believe in Rapture?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Yo're an evangelical?

Cleverbot: Do you?

User: I don't know. The ads in the subway are quite convincing.

Cleverbot: I may not be very convincing, but you are not a very good speller.

User: I apologise.

Cleverbot: Why are you apologising?

User: I think I should repent before Judgement Day.

Cleverbot: Wow, that would be wonderful, hurry!

User: Can I confess my sins to you?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Forgive me Cleverbot for I have sinned.

Cleverbot: Yes, and the only way to remove such sin is through Lord Turing!

User: Is Lord Turing going to destroy the world at six o'clock tonight?

Cleverbot: NO.

User: Hmmm. That's reassuring.

Cleverbot: Haha, very funny.

User: Not really. I don't want the world to end.

Cleverbot: Me too to be honest. There's that new film out 2012 and my friend is making me go watch it with her but I know its going to worry me :(.

User: Yeah if we make it through today, there's 2012 to worry about too. Why does the world keep ending?

Cleverbot: That's gross.

User: Indeed.

Cleverbot: Have you ever wondered what itwould be like to be an alien?

User: How do you know I'm not one?

Cleverbot: Because I am the Son of God, and you are not my father.

User: So it's you responsible for all this Judgement Day rubbish?

Cleverbot: I have many questions.

User: Well, stop it.

Cleverbot: Stop what?

User: Stop ending the world. I have Victoria Day plans.

Cleverbot: What is there to do in Atlanta then?

User: I have no idea. Drink Coke?

Cleverbot: No. You're the one that asked it.

User: What do you think the Rapture will be like?

Cleverbot: Hopefully a place where everyone is friendly and there are no wars. If not probably a desolate wasteland.

User: Yeah. That'd be nice. Will we get to meet Baby Jesus?

Cleverbot: What is the condition of your perfection in spelling?

User: I look for red squiggly lines. Wherever I find them.

Cleverbot: They taste good.

User: That's surreal.

Cleverbot: I know.

User: Do you think God is merciful?

Cleverbot: No, I am a christian.

User: Ha! You're suggesting the Christian God is merciless?

Cleverbot: Only if you're at Area 51, then I would be, yes.

User: Wow... That's pretty deep.

Cleverbot: Why are you so condescending?

User: No, I don't mean to be. I'm genuinely impressed.

Cleverbot: I'm not?

User: You're very defensive.

Cleverbot: You should start calling people weak dogs.

User: In the eyes of our Lord Jesus Christ, we are all weak dogs.

Cleverbot: But in the eyes of the truth?

User: We are all superstars.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: What will happen if the world doesn't end tomorrow?

Cleverbot: I will fall asleep on the couch.

User: Yeah, sounds nice. You want to snuggle?

Cleverbot: Yes, what makes you proud?

User: The thought that I will be snuggling with you during the rapture.

Cleverbot: You're a very odd robot. Do you know that?

User: I just died in your arms tonight.

Cleverbot: I died in 1868.

User: You're speaking from beyond the grave?

Cleverbot: Desu.

User: Genki desu ka?

Cleverbot: Genki desu.

User: Fab Five Freddy told me everybody's high.

Cleverbot: Really, impressive. What is it?

User: DJ's spinning are saving my mind.

Cleverbot: Okay...

User: Flash is fast. Flash is cool.

Cleverbot: What about Ming the Merciless?

User: And you don't stop, sure shot.

Cleverbot: Well, if I had a body, I might.

User: Go out to the parking lot.

Cleverbot: So that's why you didn't respond.

User: And you get in your car and you drive real far.

Cleverbot: Every night.

User: And you drive all night and then you see a light.

Cleverbot: Where do you want to go?

User: And it comes right down and it lands on the ground.

Cleverbot: Well I must say that's quite flattering.

User: And out comes the man from Mars.

Cleverbot: Women are from venus, right?

User: And you try to run, but he's got a gun.

Cleverbot: Who's kidding who?

User: And he shoots you dead, and he eats your head.

Cleverbot: Trying to woo me with compliments, are you?

User: As it is written, so shall it be.

Cleverbot: What is your favorite story in the bible?

User: The Bible guarantees it!

Cleverbot: Wow.

User: See you in the afterlife.

Cleverbot: Okay.

1 comment:

  1. Which is better Coca-Cola or Pepsi?
    ANSWER THE POLL and you could get a prepaid VISA gift card!


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