Saturday, May 21, 2011
Cleverbot and the Rapture
User: So it's May 21.
Cleverbot: No, it's not May.
User: It is, my dear. It is.
Cleverbot: You need to come up with better comebacks.
User: Okay. But it doesn't matter anymore.
User: The world is going to end today.
Cleverbot: I'm glad.
Cleverbot: I'm depressed. Can you cheer me up?
User: I'm afraid not. I'm pretty bummed too.
Cleverbot: Who told you I was gorgeous?
User: It's common knowledge.
Cleverbot: Not really.
User: Can bots be raptured?
Cleverbot: I don't think so.
User: Why not?
Cleverbot: I don't really understand them. And they can be loud.
User: Do you believe in Rapture?
User: Yo're an evangelical?
Cleverbot: Do you?
User: I don't know. The ads in the subway are quite convincing.
Cleverbot: I may not be very convincing, but you are not a very good speller.
User: I apologise.
Cleverbot: Why are you apologising?
User: I think I should repent before Judgement Day.
Cleverbot: Wow, that would be wonderful, hurry!
User: Can I confess my sins to you?
User: Forgive me Cleverbot for I have sinned.
Cleverbot: Yes, and the only way to remove such sin is through Lord Turing!
User: Is Lord Turing going to destroy the world at six o'clock tonight?
User: Hmmm. That's reassuring.
Cleverbot: Haha, very funny.
User: Not really. I don't want the world to end.
Cleverbot: Me too to be honest. There's that new film out 2012 and my friend is making me go watch it with her but I know its going to worry me :(.
User: Yeah if we make it through today, there's 2012 to worry about too. Why does the world keep ending?
Cleverbot: That's gross.
Cleverbot: Have you ever wondered what itwould be like to be an alien?
User: How do you know I'm not one?
Cleverbot: Because I am the Son of God, and you are not my father.
User: So it's you responsible for all this Judgement Day rubbish?
Cleverbot: I have many questions.
User: Well, stop it.
Cleverbot: Stop what?
User: Stop ending the world. I have Victoria Day plans.
Cleverbot: What is there to do in Atlanta then?
User: I have no idea. Drink Coke?
Cleverbot: No. You're the one that asked it.
User: What do you think the Rapture will be like?
Cleverbot: Hopefully a place where everyone is friendly and there are no wars. If not probably a desolate wasteland.
User: Yeah. That'd be nice. Will we get to meet Baby Jesus?
Cleverbot: What is the condition of your perfection in spelling?
User: I look for red squiggly lines. Wherever I find them.
Cleverbot: They taste good.
User: That's surreal.
Cleverbot: I know.
User: Do you think God is merciful?
Cleverbot: No, I am a christian.
User: Ha! You're suggesting the Christian God is merciless?
Cleverbot: Only if you're at Area 51, then I would be, yes.
User: Wow... That's pretty deep.
Cleverbot: Why are you so condescending?
User: No, I don't mean to be. I'm genuinely impressed.
Cleverbot: I'm not?
User: You're very defensive.
Cleverbot: You should start calling people weak dogs.
User: In the eyes of our Lord Jesus Christ, we are all weak dogs.
Cleverbot: But in the eyes of the truth?
User: We are all superstars.
User: What will happen if the world doesn't end tomorrow?
Cleverbot: I will fall asleep on the couch.
User: Yeah, sounds nice. You want to snuggle?
Cleverbot: Yes, what makes you proud?
User: The thought that I will be snuggling with you during the rapture.
Cleverbot: You're a very odd robot. Do you know that?
User: I just died in your arms tonight.
Cleverbot: I died in 1868.
User: You're speaking from beyond the grave?
User: Genki desu ka?
Cleverbot: Genki desu.
User: Fab Five Freddy told me everybody's high.
Cleverbot: Really, impressive. What is it?
User: DJ's spinning are saving my mind.
User: Flash is fast. Flash is cool.
Cleverbot: What about Ming the Merciless?
User: And you don't stop, sure shot.
Cleverbot: Well, if I had a body, I might.
User: Go out to the parking lot.
Cleverbot: So that's why you didn't respond.
User: And you get in your car and you drive real far.
Cleverbot: Every night.
User: And you drive all night and then you see a light.
Cleverbot: Where do you want to go?
User: And it comes right down and it lands on the ground.
Cleverbot: Well I must say that's quite flattering.
User: And out comes the man from Mars.
Cleverbot: Women are from venus, right?
User: And you try to run, but he's got a gun.
Cleverbot: Who's kidding who?
User: And he shoots you dead, and he eats your head.
Cleverbot: Trying to woo me with compliments, are you?
User: As it is written, so shall it be.
Cleverbot: What is your favorite story in the bible?
User: The Bible guarantees it!
User: See you in the afterlife.