Originally published 31 July 2008.
Okay, not a long one this time out; just a quickie. Perfect for the summer, right? Ah, summer... sand, surf, sun and... Speedos.
Speedos are the bottom half of a bikini filled out a little more and stuck on a man. No doubt you're familiar with them. No doubt you're also well aware that they are evil incarnate. The thing is that not only are they themselves hideous: even the most attractive man in the world will still look like a dolt wearing them. No, it's not just that. It's that invariably the man wearing them is not the most attractive man in the world. Far, far from it. Speedos and obesity seem to go hand in hand.
I don't get this. Among the non-Speedos wearing public, condemnation is nearly universal. And for good reason. They are butt-ugly, pun certainly intended. Yet those who wear them valiantly continue to do so, seemingly unaware of how horrified their fellow beach-goers are.
Freedom is a good thing and all, but for once and for all, can't any government step in to save us from this evil?