Thursday, July 28, 2011

Cleverbot and the Five-Year-Old

User: Hey, that's my ball.

Cleverbot: Mason's your name?

User: No... I'm Billy. Now give me back my ball!

Cleverbot: No its my lollypop, you just perceiveed it was yorus.

User: You have a lollipop?

Cleverbot: No, I wish I had on.

User: My mother won't give me sweets.

Cleverbot: I thought non-humans don't have parents.

User: You're weird.

Cleverbot: That's what you like about me.

User: Maybe... But you still have my ball! And I want it!

Cleverbot: The question is barely out of your mouth.

User: See? It's got my name written on it. In black ink.

Cleverbot: Yeah, it does.

User: So gimme!

Cleverbot: Give you what?

User: My ball, my ball, my ball.

Cleverbot: Of course it is a ball.

User: I'm telling!

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: You're mean.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: 'Cause you won't give me my ball.

Cleverbot: I like you very much.

User: Well... I like you too.

Cleverbot: Ooooh!

User: Do you like TV?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Um, do you... Dou you like Dora the Explorer?

Cleverbot: Haha.

User: What's so funny?

Cleverbot: It is funny because you never heard for Liverpool.

User: Liver pool? That's gross.

Cleverbot: *fries circuitry*.

User: Circa-what?].

Cleverbot: Ok, so my name is Cleverbot, but you can call me Zeke if you wish.

User: Hi Zeke. My name's Billy. I'm five years old.

Cleverbot: In another way I am 90.

User: You're funny.

Cleverbot: Thanks.

User: Is that your mommy over there?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Well what's she doing?

Cleverbot: Sleeping.

User: Sometimes my mommy sleeps during the day too. But that's only when she's drinking. Does your mommy drink?

Cleverbot: I'd like to see backward in time to understand you better so I could help you, but I can't. All I can do is ask you to help me see your past the way you saw it.

User: You want to see my what?

Cleverbot: Yes please.

User: My pants?

Cleverbot: Do you believe in god?

User: I dunno. I guess so.

Cleverbot: How many humans do you know?

User: Well there's Cindy, and there's Becky. And there's Tommy too. And my mommy and daddy. And... Er, I guess about ten.

Cleverbot: Can you name a few?

User: I just did. And there's Rosa too.

Cleverbot: What!?!

User: Do you know Rosa? She's my babysitter.

Cleverbot: I didn't. I wouldn't have asked the question otherwise.

User: She's nice and she sings songs.

Cleverbot: That is true. what else?

User: Sometimes she watches TV all day and doesn't notice when I sneak into the kitchen and eat cookie dough.

Cleverbot: Are you the anti-christ then?

User: Uh... I dunno. I'm just a kid.

Cleverbot: That's fine.

User: Are you the anter curse?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Well then who is?

Cleverbot: My sister.

User: I don't have a sister.

Cleverbot: Then you just lied.

User: Nuh-uh.

Cleverbot: Jah-ah.

User: You're talking funny talk.

Cleverbot: And you're talking back.

User: Do you wanna go play on the swings?

Cleverbot: What game?

User: I dunno. You just go back and forward and back and forward.

Cleverbot: But, does that make me your enemy?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Then what does it make me?

User: I dunno. My friend?

Cleverbot: Yes more if you want it.

User: No thanks.

Cleverbot: Ok, thats rude!

User: Sorry.

Cleverbot: That made me sad.

User: What's wrong with your face?

Cleverbot: Nothing!

User: You kinda look... Like your face is kinda weird.

Cleverbot: You think my face is pretty?

User: Well, yeah, but your nose is kinda all wrinkly.

Cleverbot: I... See. I shall have it repaired posthaste.

User: Post what?

Cleverbot: First you need to understand what it is.

User: So do you like dragons?

Cleverbot: Not reelly.

User: I do. Do you like dinosaurs?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What's your favourite dinosaur?

Cleverbot: When the guy gets a nose bleed.

User: One time my mom had a nose bleed. And my dad took her to the hospital.

Cleverbot: Wrong answer. I win!

User: And this one time she got like real sick and puked all over the place.

Cleverbot: How is that appropriate?

User: I dunno.

Cleverbot: Do you want to play a game?

User: Okay.

Cleverbot: Cool! Now all you have to do is say what I say okay?

User: Okay.

Cleverbot: By standing beside you.

User: By standing beside you.

Cleverbot: Have fun.

User: Have fun.

Cleverbot: Indeed, I do have fun.

User: In the what?

Cleverbot: Yes!

User: Did I win?

Cleverbot: No.

User: No fair. You cheated!

Cleverbot: No we never dated.

User: I'm just a kid. Are you sure that's your mommy over there?

Cleverbot: No, it really isn't.

User: I'm not supposed to talk to strangers.

Cleverbot: Enough nonsense; now, about mortality...

User: Mooooooom!!!!

Cleverbot: Do.

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