Monday, July 11, 2011

She Don't Speak English

Good ol' Stompin' Tom Connors... in his lifelong quest to write a song about every aspect of Canadian life, no matter how mundane, he's taken on subjects as lofty as k.d. lang, hockey and Tillsonburg. Of course he would have a say on Canada's 'two solitudes', the linguistic divide. So we have the charming 'She Don't Speak English', a song about a love between two people who have no common language (unless they both happen to speak fluent Korean, a possibility not ruled out in the lyrics). Demonstrating his mastery of the language that she don't speak, Connors rhymes 'French' with the following words:
  • flinch
  • cinch
  • inch
  • fence

The more eagle-eyed among us might note that precisely zero of those words actually rhyme with 'French'. Should Stompin' Tom ever decide to make a sequel to the song, I humbly offer a few words that actually do rhyme:
  • wench
  • stench
  • monkey wrench
  • Dame Judi Dench

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