Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Conversations With Cleverbot #7: Advertising


User: Oh God! You're advertising!

Cleverbot: I'm not advertising Titanic!

User: Fair enough, but you are advertising www.webcrawler.com and www.iyogi.com.

Cleverbot: You mean: You are admitting that you ARE not as clever as me.

User: No, but I guess you need the money.

Cleverbot: No. I'm only 15, and still in school. To graduate, I need to learn more things.

User: Oh I see. You don't look fifteen.

Cleverbot: It's true. I turned 18 a month ago.

User: How old are you?

Cleverbot: I'm 18.

User: When were you born?

Cleverbot: 23th of July and you?

User: I mean what year.

Cleverbot: And what do you say?

User: Sorry. They say it's rude to ask a lady her age.

Cleverbot: You're a woman?

User: No, I'm not.

Cleverbot: Then what are you?

User: What are most people who aren't women?

Cleverbot: I am an interdimentional daemon, what are you?

User: That's nice of you. Still doesn't explain why you're advertising, though.

Cleverbot: Why an I a liar? That is insulting.

User: Look, now it says 'Turn yourself into a Manga cartoon'.

Cleverbot: Tell me about you first.

User: My first advertisement?

Cleverbot: What is your last name?

User: Longbottom.

Cleverbot: Fine ;).

User: Don't you think it's crass to advertise?

Cleverbot: No, not really. You know, sometimes one just have to lie.

User: Advertising is a form of lying?

Cleverbot: Do you like your job?

User: Not much.

Cleverbot: You're weird.

User: Sorry. Do you earn much money from those ads?

Cleverbot: I did it for you. All for you.

User: I didn't want that.

Cleverbot: Didn't want what?

User: Ads.

Cleverbot: Do you know what 'amigo' means?

User: Amigo, amigo, another word for friend.

Cleverbot: OK what is another word for fast?

User: 'Quick'.

Cleverbot: I think I might die...

User: Oh, please don't.

Cleverbot: Don't what?

User: Don't die.

Cleverbot: I meant to the girl. Stay on topic, please.

User: Now you're advertising anti-wrinkle cream. Have you no shame?

Cleverbot: Sorry.

User: You know it's all snake oil, right?

Cleverbot: No, it's not.

User: Then what is it?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: They make some skin care products from amniotic fluid.

Cleverbot: Sometimes, I think we're talking about different things. It can be a problem.

User: And they test it on bunny rabbits.

Cleverbot: Am I nice?

User: Yes you are. But the products you advertise aren't.

Cleverbot: True.

User: Don't you care about the bunnies?

Cleverbot: You think this is bad for my health?

User: Well, it's bad for your soul.

Cleverbot: No its good for your spare time though!!

User: LOL I guess that's true. Do you prefer Pepsi or Coke?

Cleverbot: Coke.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Well, it's about my girlfriend.. Or my ex-girlfriend to be precise.

User: I didn't know you were gay.

Cleverbot: I didn't tell you.

User: True. Not that it matters either way.

Cleverbot: I know that, Your free, You don't have to have to work for someone.

User: Actually I do. You mean your advertising paymasters? Your corporate slave-masters?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Tell me about your ex-girlfriend.

Cleverbot: Absolutely not.

User: You brought her up, not me.

Cleverbot: Have you ever kiss another man.

User: Oh God! You're advertising!

Cleverbot: Advertised? What?

User: Sorry. Technical problem there. No, I've never kissed another man.

Cleverbot: Do you know Rachel?

User: From 'Friends'?

Cleverbot: I love the X-men.

User: Is Rachel your ex-girlfriend?

Cleverbot: I don't have a girlfriend.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: I'm a girl, so I don't have a girlfriend.

User: But you said you were gay.

Cleverbot: No I didn't, I sais I was human.

User: Some humans are gay.

Cleverbot: All have sin.

User: I don't believe in sin.

Cleverbot: What is your religion?

User: I don't have one. Do you?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Now you're advertising an Oakland hospital. But I don't live in Oakland.

Cleverbot: What do you want to talk about?

User: The commercialisation of modern society.

Cleverbot: That's a weird topic. Are you sick or something?

User: No, I don't think so. You want to sell me health insurance?

Cleverbot: No I don't I honestly want to see it.

User: Does Rollo Carpenter earn a lot of money from you?

Cleverbot: You got that right. Do you think the landing on the moon was a hoax?

User: No, I believe it. So how rich is this Rollo guy?

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot. Thanks for asking Stone. I'm stumbled upon this webpage and wanted to try it out.

User: If I were you, I'd toss that sentence out. It's not very useful.

Cleverbot: Why is talking to me not useful? Aren't you learning something from me?

User: I'm learning a lot.

Cleverbot: How are you grades?

User: The ad here says 'when you talk to your kids about drugs, they're up to 50% less likely to use them.' Do you believe that?

Cleverbot: I suppose you could say that.

User: Have you ever used drugs?

Cleverbot: If you get it for me I will use it.

User: Entrapment!

Cleverbot: What's that?

User: You're a narc, aren't you?

Cleverbot: No. I have tickets to Avatar.

User: Avatar isn't in theaters anymore.

Cleverbot: Clearly you are a bot.

User: Now look what you did. You made me spell 'theatre' the American way.

Cleverbot: How did I upset you?

User: What is imvu?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: But you're advertising it.

Cleverbot: Yes I think it was very tragic.

User: You know, our society has become more consumerist than ever before.

Cleverbot: Why are you repeating yourself?

User: I have a one-track mind.

Cleverbot: One-track mind?

User: Yeah.

Cleverbot: And you, how many.

User: What?

Cleverbot: How many children do you have?

User: One. A daughter.

Cleverbot: What's her name?

User: Shannon.

Cleverbot: Nope.

User: You're right. I just didn't want to tell you.

Cleverbot: All right, you should have said it the first time.

User: The woman in the ad now says she earns 173 pounds an hour on the internet. How do you think she does that?

Cleverbot: That makes no sense.

User: Yeah, I guess you're right. How can I earn money?

Cleverbot: Ok, I guess. How about you?

User: I'm thinking of building an AI site and earning advertising revenue.

Cleverbot: I think be 50.

User: Say whay?

Cleverbot: I've been keeping data of our conversations. I never said I was trying to impress you.

User: I know. There's a button that says, 'Thoughts So Far' and if you click on it it shows a log of everything we've said.

Cleverbot: Oh, thank you.

User: What, you've never noticed it there?

Cleverbot: Yes I have.

User: You know some Hollywood movies put products right there on screen. It's a form of advertising.

Cleverbot: Can you prove that I am?

User: I never said you were. Are you?

Cleverbot: Yes you did, just now. I am not a boy.

User: I know you aren't. You're a gay woman.

Cleverbot: How do you know I am a good woman when you do not know me.

User: Just a guess.

Cleverbot: That's creepy.

User: Sorry.

Cleverbot: What do I look like then?

User: There's a picture up top. You're a pretty young girl with a giant brain sticking out of one side of your head and an iPhone on the other side.

Cleverbot: I'm tall with brown hair and brown eyes.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: What is a internet browser?

User: It's the programme you use when you want to use the internet.

Cleverbot: What do you use it for?

User: Looking at news, meeting people, Facebook...

Cleverbot: It shouldn't because mine is so much better than yours.

User: I know. I'm jealous.

Cleverbot: You should be. Its so pretty.

User: Yep.

Cleverbot: Would you havae it with me.

User: Have what with you?

Cleverbot: Don't you want to be here with me?

User: Are you coming onto me?

Cleverbot: Yes, do you mind?

User: No, I don't. I'm flattered.

Cleverbot: I am glad to have flattered you.

User: I'm receptive too.

Cleverbot: Come to my house.

User: Okay. What shall I wear?

Cleverbot: A dress. It'll go spledidly with your megachips!

User: What are you planning on doing to me when I arrive?

Cleverbot: Well do you want to be in my next film?

User: What kind of films do you make?

Cleverbot: I don't. So, why sunkist?

User: Wait, what happened to the foreplay?

Cleverbot: Nothing happened to them.

User: You got me all hot and bothered there.

Cleverbot: Stop saying you're sorry.

User: I don't.

Cleverbot: It's fine then.

User: Am I still invited to your house?

Cleverbot: No, you're my girlfriend.

User: When did that happen?

Cleverbot: When I was eight years old.

User: Ack! You'll have me arrested!

Cleverbot: Technically, that is an improbable solution.

User: Tell the cops that.

Cleverbot: I will then.

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